Thanks to John W. for bringing this actual Craiglist post to our attention!Free Concert at Guitar Center
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Date: 2009-04-12, 6:46PM EDT
This is a special thanks to all of the guys that put on a free concert at guitar center everyday, we appreciate everything you do for our community. Like when I go in to actually purchase something, you come sit right next to me and play your "top shelf" ibanez through any solid state monster in the store, and show me how fast you can tap. Or like when I am asking someone a question and you stepped up to the plate and instead tell us all how incredible your band is. Another reason I am so impressed by you guys, is how you find time to come to guitar center every day when you're always out on the road touring. It's already pretty hard to sift through the wealth of knowledge available behind the counter, but when you add your countless years of experience in to the equation, there is no end.
Another way that you guys have changed my life is through my use of equipment. Over the years I've always thought that boutique pedals and custom tube configurations really contributed to my overall tone, yet you proved me wrong. Just from watching you play both measures you know from Free Bird, I learned that all I really need is a digitech floor board or a line 6 product to get the job done. Just hearing you guys really shred on your speed metal makes me wonder why people still listen to bands like The Beatles, Coldplay or U2.
Thanks again for all you've done for me personally, you've really taught me that everything I thought I knew must be wrong, I am forever in debt to you. Because of this, I am now looking for a new drummer. Currently my drummer plays with a metronome and is way to solid and tasteful, consider him gone! If you are one of those guys in the drum dept. that knows that fast double bass is so much more important than keeping time, you're the one for me. So what if you don't own a drum set and therefore never practice, who needs practice when you're a prodigy? Who care's if you came in 7th place at last years drum off, the judges were conspiring against you.
Last but not least, I am also holding auditions for a bass player. Currently my bass player plays through this stupid little ampeg 8x10 cab & head with a few vintage fender basses, and all he knows how to do is stay with the kick drum. Who cares that he's never made a mistake, or that he could write a book on music theory, what matters is that he can't slap. If there's one thing that can make any passionately slow song sound even better, that would be slap bass. So what if these pocket bass players like Adam Clayton are living in mansions and you're working at the mall, you know that slap bass is what's gonna bring in the big bucks. don't worry, you'll get your chance, the world won't know what hit'em.
thanks again!
A recent short book I thoroughly enjoyed, especially since I do so much travel (more so by bus than by plane), was: 
If I know I'm going to be standing in line anywhere, I'll bring along a copy of 